22.8.08

Closure

A jaded yet smart fellow recently posed a question: Why the need for closure?

I used to think about it as well. It was something I thought I needed and I obsessed about it needlessly. I wanted it and craved for it. I thought the world owed me that, at least.

I made my own closure. I decided that if the universe wasn't giving me my closure, I'll make my own. After all, I have prided myself with the fact that I have never depended on anyone before. I am arrogant like that.

In my head, there were no dramatic upswell of emotions and/or music. In my head, you showed no remorse. In my head, you never even acknowledged me or the feelings I went through, like a pendulum, from one extreme to another. So, in my head, I slit your throat in front of a mirror, licked the imaginary tears on your cheeks and kissed you one last time, stealing your last breath. In my head, that last kiss - your last breath - was your soul that I took to replace my broken one. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a soul for a soul.

It's been over 18 months since I did that.

Let me tell you, life couldn't have been better.